Cassie

Dec 3, 2023, 8:06:15 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: Thank you for dinner. I should choose that more often.
I'm honestly glad everything has went semi smoothly today.

Dec 3, 2023, 8:07:53 PM Eastern Time: Me: I've tried. Ricky pissed me off by being rude.i asked him to do a simple thing but he was too occupied by his phone. And then finding that destroyed mouse last night and him lying to me about it made me more frustrated. But I know I can't do shit because you'll undo it. It's just frustrating. I don't want to fight and that's why I'll just go upstairs.

Dec 3, 2023, 8:10:31 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: Which is why Ricky is now just sitting here instead of hanging out with anyone . I'm sorry all that happened. I don't know how to fix it.

Dec 3, 2023, 8:11:19 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: But I do appreciate you cooking me dinner and watching the kids last night.

Dec 3, 2023, 8:16:51 PM Eastern Time: Me: He can go play. But he doesn't. He just wants to be on his phone all the fucking time. It's not productive. He's not learning anything. He's not doing anything. It's just a waste of his potential. He's destroying things I've paid for.
You're welcome. I don't mind keeping the kids and doing shit around here. But it does suck when it's not reciprocated.
I'm depressed. Have been for a long time but it's bad right now. I am overwhelmed and bored at work.

Dec 3, 2023, 8:24:57 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: Well I know I'm not a great person but I try to make everyone feel special on their birthdays . I'm glad you took the time to make it better.
I don't know what Ricky's problem is. I try to talk to him and I get no where fast.

Dec 3, 2023, 9:06:11 PM Eastern Time: Me: You need to stop babying him.

Dec 3, 2023, 9:40:44 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: Putting sawyer to bed

Dec 3, 2023, 9:57:12 PM Eastern Time: Me: So, what all have you bought for Xmas?

Dec 3, 2023, 9:57:32 PM Eastern Time: Me: I know you'll be asleep soon. Ill clean the kitchen soon.

Dec 3, 2023, 9:59:54 PM Eastern Time: Me: I need someone to talk to. I need someone who can keep up with me. It's difficult. I miss VA and MA. There were plenty of people who were more intelligent than me.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:00:26 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: I got sawyer a tool set. I got the girls smart watches , extra makeup, nail kits , quite a few other things.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:01:13 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: Yeah I know you do and not too many of that around here. I miss VA sort of. I had no one zilch to talk to or hang out with . I don't mingle well with older people

Dec 3, 2023, 10:03:01 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: Sawyer a chainsaw

Dec 3, 2023, 10:03:19 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: Cards uno for the boys

Dec 3, 2023, 10:03:28 PM Eastern Time: Me: How much money do you have left

Dec 3, 2023, 10:03:47 PM Eastern Time: Me: I guess I'll just dumb myself down. Not like I can go to college.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:05:23 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: 326 . I shouldn't have spent what I spent at cvs. I'm mad at myself over it.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:05:38 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: I never once said dumb yourself down.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:06:08 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: Never implied that.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:08:30 PM Eastern Time: Me: Didn't say you did. But, it's not like I'll find anyone out here to talk about physics with. That's my dream job. I want to be a physicist. I know I'll never be able to do it though. I have to provide.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:09:08 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: Take evening classes

Dec 3, 2023, 10:11:14 PM Eastern Time: Me: Yeah, alright. And it'll end up like everything I do. Just like the car, the chair tables, firewood, etc.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:14:19 PM Eastern Time: Me: I sincerely think I would've gotten a Nobel prize for physics, if my dad didn't die. I used to be very intelligent. I'm not as smart anymore.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:15:01 PM Eastern Time: Me: My teachers and numerous other people used to think so.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:19:31 PM Eastern Time: Me: Okay, well, I'm glad you had an okay birthday. Good night.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:20:54 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: Sorry my phone died and wouldn't come back on.
I think you should still try to be one.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:21:13 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: Why don't you think you're not as smart?

Dec 3, 2023, 10:21:52 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: Take online classes or something . I get frustrated when your projects just consume you,

Dec 3, 2023, 10:23:14 PM Eastern Time: Me: I know I'm not.
And that's why I can't do college. It will consume me. Physics isn't something you can just learn by sitting around. It's alright. I'll do this shit for the rest of my, hopefully short, life.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:23:24 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: I'm kind of needy. I don't like being super alone with no adult interaction at home it makes me crazy

Dec 3, 2023, 10:24:05 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: I'm sure classes wouldn't be 7 days a week

Dec 3, 2023, 10:24:18 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: Rhea is in my room

Dec 3, 2023, 10:32:15 PM Eastern Time: Me: It's alright. Ive known for a while that I can't go to college. I've known for a while that I'll never be able to do the things I've dreamed of. It's alright.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:32:18 PM Eastern Time: Me: Okay.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:34:57 PM Eastern Time: Cassie: Why don't you at least look into it before your college funds are no longer existence

Dec 3, 2023, 10:37:59 PM Eastern Time: Me: Because I know I can't go. We fight about shit being clean when I'm working from home. How do you think it'll be if I leave for a few days a week? I'll have to clean when I get back from school and then I'll have no time to do my papers and such. It's not worth it.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:43:44 PM Eastern Time: Me: It won't be like what you've been going to school for. Physics isn't something most people can understand. It's hard. I can appreciate theoretical physics but I want to be an engineer. I want to be able to apply what I learn. I want to help build spaceships and satellites. I want to see space. I want people to go to space. I want to go to space.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:44:46 PM Eastern Time: Me: But I'm getting too old to be able to go to space. I know I'll never go. But it would be awesome to make it so my kids can go.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:48:52 PM Eastern Time: Me: It's alright. I know it's a pipe dream. I know it won't happen. I've given up on my dreams. I'm just trying to make sure our kids survive and I'm hoping I can give them the tools to thrive in their lives. I will not allow any of my kids to take care of me. I will not be a burden on any of their lives.

Dec 3, 2023, 10:53:04 PM Eastern Time: Me: Good night.

Dec 3, 2023, 11:04:09 PM Eastern Time: Me: Maybe I'm just dumb and don't realize it. That's hard to think about. I guess I am just dumb.

Dec 3, 2023, 11:04:24 PM Eastern Time: Me: Alright. I'll talk to you later. Bye.

Dec 3, 2023, 11:19:25 PM Eastern Time: Me: Thanks for the conversation. I needed someone to talk to. I needed someone last night. But I never have anyone. I'm always alone. Good night.

Dec 3, 2023, 11:23:58 PM Eastern Time: Me: I'll be on the fucking couch. K is in my bed again. Thanks.

Dec 4, 2023, 12:07:12 AM Eastern Time: Me: This is what sucks. You will talk to whomever the fuck all god damn day. But when I need someone to talk to, you go to sleep. what a great fucking relationship.

Dec 4, 2023, 12:40:24 AM Eastern Time: Cassie: I'm sorry that I go to sleep.
If being a physicist is your dream then why don't you follow your dream?
I'm sure you can get into a school. You don't have to clean all the time. I do help clean just not your clean , I did not send K to your bed. I told her to come here in my room.
Also, that has been my name on there and you have known that since you found out the first time. I also told you why my name is like that. So, I don't know why you are barging in here like I did something wrong. Yet again. You never really want to talk when I'm not tired and it's not really ever in person . It's via text . I'm not talking to people like you think I am.

Dec 4, 2023, 12:41:33 AM Eastern Time: Cassie: You came here while I was sleeping to start a fight. Why? I don't know when you already knew this. But you want to make me look bad and start a fight . I've been avoiding fighting with you .