Me to Cassie

Jul 2, 2023, 3:58:09 AM Eastern Time: Me: I'm tired of fighting. I tried to make it clear that i think you spend too much time with Jesse. Apparently that was a waste of my time. You want me to spend more time with you but all you want to do is swim. You also don't realize all the time I spend on a lot of other things. I still clean. I still do laundry and dishes and cook. I work on all of our cars. I work on the 4 wheeler. I do all of that so we don't have to pay to have it done. I also do it so they won't break when we need them. But that's lost on you. You say I don't notice or appreciate when you do things. That's just not true. I may not say much but, do you say much when I mow? Or bust my ass at your grandpa's? Or change your oil? Or do my job and pay the bills? No. I don't expect it either. Most of that is my responsibility. I don't need thanks for things that are expected of me. How can you expect me to want to or have time to go do things with you when I also have to do things I expect you to do? No, you didn't make the mess. But it's OUR responsibility to clean it. It's OUR responsibility to do the laundry. I don't fucking enjoy it. I don't like it. BUT it has to be done. I can't keep doing the majority. Yeah, you did a lot for a few weeks. But, guess what? It doesn't end because you want it to. I guess I'll leave it here. You won't bother acknowledging most of it anyways. It's a waste of my time. But, I have no one else to talk to. I guess talking to myself is better than nothing. I am absolutely miserable. I hate breathing. I hate walking. I hate getting up. I wish I wouldn't. But, I don't have the balls to kill myself. So, I'll keep doing it until I don't.

Jul 2, 2023, 4:06:41 AM Eastern Time: Me: I'm going to remove Google voice from my phone. It'll stop me from messaging you. I can barely get a response anyways. Always on your phone but, not when I try talking to you. And yeah, I know you're asleep right now. I'm obviously not talking about right now. Not everything is about right this minute.